Long Distance Relationships

“Ninety-Nine perfect of failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.” -George Washington 

So I am not claiming to be a relationship expert by any means, let alone a long distance relationship expert, but let’s just point out a few problems that most people run into when deciding to be in a long distance relationship. 

Problem: “It’s never worked out before with any other one I have been in, the significant other ended up hating me.” 

Solution: I’m sorry did I suddenly contract amnesia and forget that I’m your ex? This is a very unfair statement to make because this means you are comparing your current partner with a past partner, which clearly didn’t work out. This may be because of the distance, but even so it was a different person entirely. It is unfair to tell your current partner this is the reason it’s not going to work out because he/she is not the same person as your ex. The relationship will be different once your partner moves away, but whose to say that it would end up having a negative impact on the relationship?

Problem: “We will grow apart because of the distance.” 

Solution: This is such a copout. The only reason this would be true is if you stopped trying to be in a relationship. Relationships need communication, no matter if you live 5 minutes away or 5 hours away. They also need intimate contact, which can be (usually a guys perspective) the reason people grow apart. This is not the only thing that relationships should be based around. Sex is so important in a relationship, but I think our society relies on it too much for intimacy. It is a common misconception that sex=intimacy. This is not true. Intimacy: a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another people or group. (dictionary.com) This definition says NOTHING about sex. This talks about the bond you share with someone, which should not revolve around sex. I am not saying sex isn’t important because I think it is, but what I am saying is that maybe the long distance will allow you and your partner to take your relationship past the superficial level and into the deeper level of getting to know one another in more than just a physical manner. 

Problem: “We won’t be able to see each other often.”

Solution: If it’s important to you, you will make the effort and the time. You will drive the five hours to go see her/him one-two times a month so you are able to see him/her. If you don’t want to make that effort, that is a different story. This means you shouldn’t have been together this long because both people need to be making equal efforts. Every relationship needs effort put into it. Long distance relationships are more of a sacrifice to your weekends, but if you would rather be doing something else than seeing your partner, after not seeing them for at least two weeks, then you need to reevaluate your priorities. The grass ain greener on the other side, it’s green where you water it. If you don’t want to water your grass anymore, then be straight up about it. But don’t act like you won’t be able to see each other because of the distance. 

Problem: “I don’t want to hold you back from opportunities that you might have here.”

Solution: EEEERRRR???? …. What? Stop right there. I’m sorry, but this clearly has been a waste of my and your time being together. Don’t you think that I would have already left you if I thought that I wanted to be with someone else? Or is this reverse psychology shit that you’re trying to pull? Are you saying you want me to be able to do what I want so that you can browse through your new town as a single man? So…. does that mean when you find nothing better you want to get back together? Sorry bro. Doesn’t work like that. I promise that if you want to end things because of this reason I will find and take opportunities as they present themselves. In all seriousness, this is another copout. If I wanted to take another opportunity (don’t think I haven’t been offered) I already would have. It wouldn’t take you moving away for me to take the other opportunity. I haven’t taken these opportunities because I care about you and I like our relationship enough to continue to work on it and improve it.

So if you are going to use any of these “problems” as an excuse to not at least try long distance, save it.

Life as I see it.


Not A Typical Blonde



Sorry it has been so long since I have written anything, my life has been so hectic and I have been putting this on the far back burner lately. I have been seeing this guy for about three months now and we are doing pretty well, minus the fact that he might be relocating for a career opportunity (which I am totally supportive of). But why is it that whenever I become content and dare I say, happy, with my current situation people from my past can sense that? 

Seriously, I have only had three boyfriends before my current one, and two of the three are consistently trying to become part of my life again. No, I do not want you liking my photos on Instagram, and no I do not want to SnapChat you. I certainly do not want to talk about the past and how it should be the future. Stop. Just stop. 

Guys, why do you feel the need to do this? Even just by liking my photos on Instagram, after I told you I never wanted to hear from you again because you treated me like shit, you know you are trying to get my attention. Why? Is it because you don’t want me to be happy? Is it because you want to get back together? Or is the real reason because you want what you can’t have? 

I have always been told that people want what they can’t have and I actually do believe that to be true, but you had me once…., and you and/or I fucked that up. There’s a reason we are not dating anymore. We have no business being together. Sure, I have a good relationship with a few of my exes and we talk from time to time, but it’s that guy that I don’t have the best relationship with that irks me the most. More often than not, this douchebag ex will contact you after a recent breakup with his sororistitue (sorority whore) in hopes that things can be mended. New flash dude, you are the least appealing little frat boy on this planet after you pull a move like this. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that I was second to her. HA. Good joke. Did you actually think it would work? Do not contact me literally hours after you have broken up with your girlfriend. It does not work in your favor. I promise. When this happens: you are just realizing you fucked up and I am just approving of my past choice to not be with you. 

And if a guy actually does care about a girl and wants her back in his life there are much better ways to do that than to Snapchat her and like her photos on Instagram. Grow up and man up. Contact her directly and tell her what you want, most of the time we will turn you down. But at least we know what the intentions are. 

Better yet, just don’t contact us if we have already said, “if we ever speak again it would be too soon.” And even following us on Instagram is considered “in contact” because basically what you are doing is stalking us. 

Ladies: Don’t let him have that control over you! Don’t allow him to contact you if you know it will bother you. Move on. Hopefully to something better. Take my advice and dgaf. 

Gentlemen (or lack there of): Stop trying to cause havoc in your exes lives. You know deep down you don’t want them back because it will be the same shit different day, so just let them be happy and let them live their new, probably better lives.

Life as I see it.



Not A Typical Blonde. 

Women are crazy because men are assholes.

So, it’s no secret that most women have insecurities, which translate to men as being “crazy.” Well a wise person once told me, “Men are assholes and women are crazy. Not sure if women are crazy because men are assholes or men are assholes because women are crazy.” I would have to go with women are crazy because men are assholes myself. 

Not all women are crazy. Let’s just start there.

Many women have insecurities, which show through in the main form of jealousy. Men can’t stand jealousy. Why? I’m not typically a jealous person, but I have dealt with jealous boyfriends and I have taken it as flattery because he would rather be with me and cares about who I am with and what I am doing. Do I need him to tell me who I can and can’t hang out with? Absolutely not. That’s controlling. That’s completely different. Jealousy I can deal with, but controlling I can’t. 

So what do men do that make women crazy? Everything. Typically when a women is asking you questions about where you are and what you are doing and acting “crazy”, it’s because she has some reason to be doing that. She either doesn’t trust you or has had something happen in her past that made her feel that she is unable to trust men. This all goes back to the fact that a man made her act that way. She got fucked over in the past and wants to prevent it in the future. Little does she know, it is doing the complete opposite. When a woman is being clingy or annoying it makes the man wonder why the hell he is with her if she is going to act this way. It’s a vicious cycle for a woman with insecurities, until you find someone with equal insecurities, now we are in an unhealthy relationship. This type of relationship happens all the time. It’s based on similar values and characteristics, which is where most relationships stem from. But this is the wrong way to approach a relationship.

This unhealthy relationship brings nothing to your life because it typically cuts all your friends out because each of you would just rather be with one another and no one else. I have a few coo-coo cray girlfriends and have seen it happen time and time again. The girl doesn’t like the guy going out without her and the guy doesn’t like the girl leaving his side. Gross. Seriously. What kind of black hole have you fell into that makes you think this is normal? Go out to bars with your girlfriends without your boyfriend for once. Notice how you friends aren’t trying to be with you anymore… that’s because you are now a “unit.” No thanks. Hard pass.  


For my girls: stop acting coo-coo cray. You’re giving us a bad rap and it’s not getting you anywhere but in a terrible relationship. Drop what happened in your past relationships and don’t bring it to your future relationships because then it will be another failed relationship. 

For the boys: don’t be dicks. Treat us like princesses and we will treat you like kings. Don’t be shady, so we don’t have to act like crazies. 



Not A Typical Blonde. 


The Idea of Marriage

So the other day I was reading the new Cosmo while taking a study break. I came across this article about how women are marrying later and later in their lives or just not marrying at all. This is in turn dropping the divorce rates because women and men are more mature upon marriage. It got me thinking, I could in no way be married in just a few years. I just turned 21, I’m having the time of my life in San Diego and I want nothing to do with the notion of marriage right now. But yet I am still getting notified about my sorority sisters weddings, or friends of friends getting married at my age! Who are you people?! Don’t you want to live it up? Take a step back and be like yeah I’m content with my life. What is the rush with marriage? I have been seeing this older guy and it got me thinking, “hopefully HE doesn’t want to get married in the near future.” I am perfectly content with just dating him and going out with my girlfriends and having my own apartment. I could not even imagine settling down in just a few short years. The Cosmo article said the average age for women getting married was around 29 this last year, which totally shocked me because that’s the age I want to get married. Sure, dating someone you see yourself marrying is always a good thing, otherwise why are you dating them? But I don’t understand the urgency of signing that piece of paper to make two lives become one. I am an engineer, I am independent, I love going out with my girls and I love having my own space to come home to after a date, so why would I want to think about marriage right now? 

Well I don’t think I am getting married anytime soon, but that doesn’t stop my Pinterest “wedding” board from growing. That’s another thing, this fantasy of the perfect wedding, when in reality it should be a fantasy of the perfect marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I will definitely be a princess on my wedding day, I mean I have been dreaming about this since I was a child, but the emphasis has been lying too much on the wedding day and not the actual marriage. The wedding is the first day of the marriage, not the only day. Marriage with someone should be something that we look forward to as much as our actual wedding day. Yes the pastel colors, the perfect 5 tier wedding cake, the princess dress and don’t forget that rock on your finger are all important things in the actual wedding, but does it really matter when you look back on your failed marriage?

Food for thought readers: don’t just say yes because it sounds right at the time. Slow your roll. Take some time. Figure YOUR life out first before jumping into someone else’s life. 

Again, This is just how I see it. 



Not A Typical Blonde 

Sorority Vs. Fraternity Formals

Sorry I have been so MIA lately, but as promised here is my piece on greek formals. So I don’t know if you have ever been to a sorority or a fraternity formal, but to sum it up they are a shit show. 


Fraternity formals: 

So it begins. Formal (or any dance) season is approaching, it is about week 7 or 8 and everyone is anticipating who is going to ask who to which frat dance. Fraternity dances are much more preferable because there is no one regulating how much you drink or where/when you are drinking it. The guys have to choose their dates and they must choose wisely because they need someone who will hook up with them, according to their other frat bros that’s the only way to go. So most guys give the girls a whole five day notice, which mind you is NOT enough for a sorority girl to get everything together for a formal. The real assholes ask you the Thursday before while you are getting drunk with them during mixers on Thirsty Thursday… oh how romantic right? Mind you, the boys choose girls from top houses on campus that are notorious for giving it up easy that way it’s for sure a good night. It is EXPECTED of us (girls) that we give them something in return for their generosity of their invitation… seriously? 

Once the “romantic” invitation has been announced they think they deserve a cookie or something because pretty much in the same sentence they are asking when they are going to get their present for them asking us to their dance… cause we should be oh so grateful they invited us…. really? This is no joke, we make them things, especially us crafty sorority girls. My last formal I was asked to design a cooler.. A COOLER! An entire cooler…. and this asshole gave me all of 4-5 day notice of his formal…. seriously? I have numerous other, better things to be doing! Like studying for my FINALS! – it was my finals week, but did he care? No. He EXPECTED his cooler. Awesome. So not only do I have to go buy all the paints, brushes, the actual cooler and what ever other crafting things I need for this ordeal, I have to get my outfit together AND study for all my finals! Talk about stressful. 

Once us girls have our outfits planned and every little gift figured out, while these guys have been raging all week, it’s the night before the dance and we are wondering what the plan is about the alcohol sitch. So what do we do? We ask them what their favorite drinks are… and because we are oh so grateful to be their date… we go out and buy them their drink of choice…. really?

Now that we are now classified as the best date ever, we are on our way to formal with this blacked out frat bro. Am I supposed to be impressed with how fast you drank the alcohol I bought you? Well, I’m not. You look like a fool. At the dance everyone is in a drunken stupor and it actually is really fun because you are right there with them. Once the dance ends, you go back to their frat castles and rage some more with the rest of his brothers and their dates. Eventually, couples will start breaking off and you know the inevitable is coming… you are EXPECTED to hook up with this fool now that he has been “the best date ever”, blacked out and all. Yeah, right. FUCK THAT. 


Sorority Formals:

Formal was announced to be in three weeks in chapter tonight…. the girls have gone absolutely crazy. Already planning every little detail about their outfits and thinking about who to bring! Us girls have to think very carefully about who we are going to bring because we need someone that can handle their alcohol (… no one likes to be called into standards the next morning with that banging hangover…), someone who will be fun to go with and actually dance with you and someone you won’t get annoyed with and are able to spend and ENTIRE evening with. This whole date thing is a real commitment. A lot of girls get overwhelmed by the immensity of this decision. A week from that announcement date there will be tapping. (Tapping: when sorority girls go around each fraternity house and serenade them in hopes that they will accompany either myself or one of my sisters to our house dance.) Yes, we serenade these boys as our invitations. And what do we get…. NOTHING. In fact, WE bring THEM gifts if they say yes! Nothing big of course, but still… like really? This is also with a two week notice to our dance so we give them plenty of time to get their frat-so-hard schedules figured out. During this interim we figure out what their drink of choice is and we have plenty of it ready at the live-out we are pre-gaming for our dance at. 

It’s the night of formal and we are pre-gaming at the live-out and your date asks you what you planned for him later that night… oh right because I’M in charge of that. Not only do you have to keep him entertained for a couple hours before the dance, a couple hours at the dance, but you are also responsible for the plans AFTER the dance. Like what if I wanted to go to bed? Well, no can do. Once we return at midnight from our dance there better be something we are doing. And we all know what HE thinks is going to happen… as if serenading him, showering him with gifts and having a good night with him isn’t enough, we need to oh so grateful he said yes to our invitation… maybe I don’t want to hook up with you… ever think of that? No he didn’t. He has no doubt in his mind he is getting some tonight because he is oh so irresistible. SERIOUSLY? I could puke. 


My experiences with fraternity boys have not been the best, but they are not always this way. One in particular was awful. Before he decided he needed to be in a house he accompanied me to my formal and was the biggest gentleman; brought me a dozen red roses when he came and met me at my house, made sure he was on time, he didn’t drink prior, made sure HE brought the alcohol I wanted and he wanted and he even made sure we wore matching attire. To be honest he was more on top of it than I was at the time. Then he joined a frat and that all went down the tubes. I accompanied him to his formal a year later and it was a DISASTER. I wanted to punch myself in the face repeatedly. He told me about it four days prior, expected me to make him a cooler… gross, don’t expect that, expected that I would sleep with him prior and after the dance… like really, I know we are together but there needs to be a little romance, he was WASTED by the time I showed up for the formal (while I was dead sober), he kept leaving me alone at the dance where I knew no one because he went to a different school and I had never met his frat bros and not only that he kept hanging all over other girls, to top it off he got in a fight because he was so belligerent. This was all before we even left the dance. After the dance he expected me to wait in his hotel room, so he had someone to hook up with, while he went out with his fraternity brothers to all the bars in town. ARE YOU SERIOUS? GROW UP AND GET OVER YOURSELF. Needless to say, we are no longer together. Thank god. 

To all you frat bros: get your shit together. Chivalry isn’t dead and if you want girls to give it up you need to be someone they can give it up to, not a douche. 

To all you sorority girls: stand up for yourself! Don’t let him treat you like that and if he does DO NOT hook up with him…. gross. We definitely don’t need that! 


Again, this is just how I see it. Some colleges and fraternities and sororities could be COMPLETELY different. If you have other experiences, good or bad, I would love to hear! 



Not A Typical Blonde

Greek life part 2- negatives

So I know you’re on the edge of your seat waiting to hear my negatives about Greek life, so here it is! 

The negatives and the positives of Greek life are probably equal and therefore, many people are indifferent about Greek Life. I, for one, could not imagine my life without my sisters. But to be honest I feel like Greek life for guys is a TOTAL joke. 


1. They are disgusting – has anyone ever vacuumed? seriously. When was the house built? in the 50’s? Because it seriously doesn’t looked like you’ve cleaned since then. I have been in my fair share of fraternities and each and every time you have the faint smell of mildew covered up by piss and vomit, oh, and don’t forget that everlasting smell of beer. 

2. What exactly is “brotherhood”? They always try and play the card, it’s the same as “sisterhood”… well in actuality we do much more together than get drunk into oblivion together. Like seriously… the “brotherhood events” are encircled around half gallons of Potter’s vodka (the real classy frat bros go with Burnett’s.. I just threw up in my mouth a little) or Barb rum and getting locked in rooms until everyone has finished each and every drop. They can’t even leave to pee!! They literally pee in canisters… which goes back to number one… disgusting. (I know this is just one fraternity that I know of, but still it paints the general picture of “brotherhood”).

3. How does a fraternity benefit your dating life? Well it totally doesn’t. You have sororistitutes (yes, that is a common word in the Greek community) coming and going at all hours – how does your girlfriend feel about that?, people getting roofied at the frat parties – does that make your girlfriend feel safe?, and let’s not forget about the “brotherhood” aspect of it – does your girlfriend really need to be dating your brothers and you? Seriously. Grow the fuck up. *Dating in Greek Life will be an entire post in itself. There is just too much to say about it.*

4. Honestly, how does your mother feel about you being part of something that you are titled a “frat bro” on the daily? Does it make you feel masculine to know that people wish they were as “fratty” as you? How about wearing a shirt that says, “Does this shirt make me look frat”? Really?…. like REALLY? 

5. Formal. (and/or other dances/trips). I can literally write so much about these. *It will be my next post.*

I know it may sound like I am being super critical and harsh on fraternities, but being immersed in their world from being in a sorority AND dating my fair share of frat bros, I feel like I have been well versed in their lifestyles. I am in no way saying every guy that is in a fraternity is an automatic douche bag, but the majority of them are. For sure. Hide yo wives, hide yo kids…. these boys can be oober charming when they want to be. Don’t fall for it!! The majority of the time it’s a total facade. 

What is your opinion on Greek Life? Negative or positive? 

Stay Tuned for more Greek life posts! 



Not A Typical Blonde


Greek Life part 1 – positives



We compete to see which house is prettiest, which house can drink the most, which house has the best grades… it’s all in this magical world that non-greeks, aka GDI’s, have no idea anything about. 

Most GDI’s would categorize Greek life for being superficial and paying for friendships, but what they lack is the understanding of the Greek community. Yeah, we party too much, yeah, we probably drink far too often and yeah, we date other Greeks and hook up with other Greeks on a the daily. 

Soo… why would you ever want to be in Greek life? 

Let me give you a run down of the top reasons I decided to join Greek life: 

1. Legally Blonde – who doesn’t want to be Elle Woods?

2. Connections I would have after college to get a job. Did you know Greeks are 33% more successful than non-Greek upon graduation?

3. To build relationships. Yes, you can be friends with your roommate from freshman year in the dorms all four years, but where do you gain the understanding of what it means to have a Big or even better, a Little? Someone so close to you, you are basically family. 

4. To learn to live with people I don’t care for. This was probably the biggest battle while living in the house. You have to learn to cope with all different personality types and get along for an entire year. That takes patience to a whole new level. 

5. Community. While I was part of greek life, I felt like I knew EVERYONE on campus. I would run into people all the time and 95% of the time it was Greeks. We party together, we study together, we are philanthropic together and we all support each other at the end of the day. 


These are my top five reasons for joining and loving my years in my sorority. There was many incidents in our Greek community, deaths of individuals being a major one. Each and every time it was the most moving experience. To know that 1000+ people could come together and walk through Greek row holding candles in the night in honor of one Greek member is just one example of why I know joining Greek life was one of the best decisions I have ever made. 


Don’t get me wrong… I know Greek life has a bad rap, but no one ever looks at it as a positive thing. There are many negatives which I will be writing about in my next post. 


Stay Tuned!! 



Not A Typical Blonde